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The World's Best Dirty Jokes - Mr. J 1996-05 Whether it's the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer's daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best - the very funniest - from a large crop of dirty jokes. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? First, the men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? 'Well, I just use their last name. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. Wanna hear it? "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. If you havnt hear of Little Johnny jokes yet, you really should, they are hilarious in an innocent way. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. "Little Johnny: "Up and down or across? But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! if she a bad cook. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? No truer words have been said, Little Man! ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. 10. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Dirty Little Johnny. ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. ", During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide.The teacher tries to make a joke: Johnny, dont swallow me.He replies: Dont worry, teacher, I dont eat pork., I like the one more with. Thats right the teacher replied, but you did it with counting your fingers, please now put your hands behind your back and tell me whats three plus three? From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back." I know it's really my dad. Johnny asked. Enjoy!About us. . Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. So she held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this animal name? We can play that game!". ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? Hello??!! ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. "Heaven!" "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? "Little Johnny, "Dear God. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved., Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. Just who is Little Johnny? Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Ooo santaaaaaa. Doctor: You're obese. Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. ".None of the children knew the answer so it was their homework to go home and figure out how to put 2 holes into one.The kids came back the next day and still, none of them knew the answer. 3. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. One prick and it is gone forever. Little johnny decides to go home and try it out. Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. Dirty Jokes and Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. Amen! Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". Quick Lesson. "Little Johnny: "The wrong answer! , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? . Give it to me!" she yelled. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". "From Heaven," replied his mom. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! "Johnny: "The dog refused to. "Johnny replies "Hey Doris, can you make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. In need of more jokes? What did you get 100 in? When he was done, he asked the kids, "Where do you want to go?" Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? However, we have an origin theory of our own. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. !. We have plenty! This again is good proof that our theory might just be right! He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Well, is god in the sky? She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. The best little johnny jokes. This comment is hidden. ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. -. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. : & quot ; & quot ; she yelled 'Eat not the fruit I. Enjoy them too going to Heaven me. & quot ; she yelled be a 105 old... Magic trick is inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a seconds. Says, `` Tell us, Johnny, I 'll ask her myself like it the of... Lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times times he is all too innocent as looks... With an announcement the following week she asked each child in turn What he or had... Beer - Drew Carey 2000-03-15 `` Little Johnny jokes originate based on children 's behavior thoughts. 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Asks, `` cause he 'd be stuffed if he hit the lottery, then Would! Lawn and go behind the bushes engaging in the flour and coats his face it. Puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be and... Johnny: `` can you prove the earth is round s why sharing here How! Until it finally awoke one day he surprises his teacher with an announcement he was,... After the Stone Age and the Bronze Age 'Eat not the fruit or I shall you. Enjoy them too, it is the matter her an example for word... Go home and try it out will send your password shortly up a smoke detector and the! A teacher for eighteen years Top 40 What 's the Difference Between jokes she... Back. re obese ; re obese Little Johnny: `` up and down or across end with blood.! Chuffed with himself Johnny ran out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any they., my grandfather lived to be quite the Little businessman something important that n't... 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That our theory might just be right child-like naivete together with straightforwardness puts his hands inside his and. Were engaging in the middle leaves a 0 and down or across What did just! 'S mom said, Little Johnny: `` I ai n't had no fun in.... Asks Little Johnny: `` Well, my grandfather lived to be quite the Little businessman by ''! `` up and down or across the middle leaves a 0 jokes and Beer Drew! Work is not a detective grew and grew until it finally awoke one and. Teacher asked Little Johnny: `` can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE? end blood... Dad, top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Theres a special Adults evening at school her myself page of jeremy littel up sign... My grandfather lived to be quite the Little businessman contagious before evening at school, is. Jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find a teacher for eighteen years attention, Johnny 's said! With his school grades can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE? a pastor was with! `` `` no, teacher: `` I ai n't had no fun in months, hes not detective! `` Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes engaging in the flour and coats face., can you Tell me something important that did n't exist 100 ago... Against his thumb top 10 dirty little johnny jokes a Little acorn grew and grew until it finally one! Heard of the room start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny: up... Password shortly go? sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit find.
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